Toddlerchef
Here’s a
cooking show I’d watch on TV:
the judges
are aged between two and three –
grown-up
food critics are far too easy.
They will eat things like bone-marrow,
offal,
steak
tartare, frog’s legs, snails, or steamed mussels,
mushroom
ketchup, sea-weed, skin, and truffle…
The toddlers
are a formidable bunch:
inscrutable,
as you bring them their lunch;
fastidious
about what they will munch.
Contestant
one. Your meal is rejected.
We’re sorry,
but we see you’ve neglected
the memo re:
greens – the plate’s infected!
Contestant
two. You’ve fallen down on sauce.
This meal
needs deconstructing, a divorce
between the
pasta and red stuff, of course.
Contestant
three. Now, this is hard to say.
While we
like everything you’ve made today,
you didn’t
slice the same way as yesterday.
Those
gallant souls who make toddler dinners
that meet
with approval are true winners.
All other
chefs are simply beginners.
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